(Eh..Jag tar imorgon eftersom det är ganska sent nu)
1- Köra Tower rapporter
2-Hämta Dans jacka på kemtvätten
3-Svara på sjuttielva emails.
4-Glo på något tjafs på TV
5-Lägga mig tidigt! Är så trött!!

Er...1998...Jobbade på biljettkontoret och stod ut med dumma turister.

Ställen du bott på?

Ge varje medlem av min familj en miljon.

Ge en massa till välgörenhet.

Köpa två hus- Ett här och ett i Sverige

Resa!

Köpa världens bästa julklappar och födelsedagspresenter!

Sex personer som ska svara på samma frågor:

Hmm...nej!

Helg igen! Har spenderat mestadels av dagen med att leka med bildredigerings-programmet Picasa (GRATIS!). Har upptäckt att de flesta av våra foton nu ser ut som bilder på medlemmar av en gangsterfamilj....Ha! - men roligt är det!
Ikväll är det fotboll på TV, Chicken Kiev till middag och sedan film (In Bruges)- alltsammans ackompanjerat av vin i rikliga mängder!

Tog ett personlighetstest på http:\\se.41q.com och fick följande resultat:

Din personlighetstyp:
Bestämda och uppriktiga. Födda ledare. Utomordentlig förmåga att förstå övergripande organisatoriska problem och finna hållbara lösningar. Intelligenta och allmänbildade, ofta mycket bra talare. Värderar kunskap och kompetens och har inget överseende med ineffektivitet eller dåligt organiserad verksamhet.

Kärriärer som skulle kunna passa dig:
Företagsledare, VD:ar, organisationsgrundare, affärsföreståndare, chefer, entreprenörer, domare, advokater, jurister, datakonsulter, universitetslärare, politiker, kreditrådgivare, fackrepresentanter, marknadschefer, banktjänstemän, systemanalytiker, forskare.


Är jag verkligen så "kallhjärtad"? Jo...jag är nog det...ha ha ha och mitt jobb är en blandning av datakonsult/systemanalytiker och kreditrådgivare so SPOT ON!

 PETER KAY SAYINGS

1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said Thyroid problem?'

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised
     that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

9) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

13) You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me neither.

14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

5) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

14) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

"My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night."

"My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t."

"The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face."

"Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation."

"I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".

"Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along.  Turned out it was a bloody hoax."

"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time."

"The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears."

"My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs."

"A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".  The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".

"Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda."

"I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!"

"It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake."

"I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it."

"If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that."

"I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: "This door is alarmed." I said to myself: "How do you think I feel?"

1. Two blondes walk into a building ... you'd think at least one of
them would have seen it.

2. Phone answering machine message ... 'If you want to buy
marijuana, press the hash key.'

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for
shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

5. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 quid that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!'
The doctor replied, '! I know you can't, I've cut your arms off.'

8. I went to a seafood disco last week ... and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft and it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.

10. Our ice-cream man was found lying on the floor of his van
covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. The doctor says, 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

12. 'Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
'That's the Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'

13. A man takes his Rotweiller to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's
have a look at him.' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then
checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.'
'What, because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy.'

14. A guy goes into the doctor's.'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up
my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Now don't you start!'

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff ... boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, 'Can
you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your
oyster, go for it.'

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's not me so it's
either my Mum or my Dad, my older brother Colin or my younger
brother Ho-Cha-Chu. I think it's Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub. One says to the other, 'Your round.
'The other one says, 'So are you, you fat git!'

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery
acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the
other one off.

21. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' So
that was nice.

22. A man walked into the doctor ' and said, 'I've hurt my arm in
several places.' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore.'

23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search
and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that
number to rise as digging continues into the night.